A Collection of Resources Related To Jealousy
Feeling Jealous is a bad place to be; it can be hateful and drive people to do strange things. The feeling of jealousy gives you feelings of inferiority; you may think less of yourself, and feel bad about your life.
You think less of yourself because you ask why is that person getting the promotion, why is my girlfriend interested in that guy, why does my boss listen to this person and not me. All these questions may be legitimate, but if you look at it from a different perspective, you can learn to accept it or overcome it and move on.
Here are a few examples that can help you deal with jealousy
Your colleague gets the promotion you wanted.
Ask yourself the following questions:
Is my colleague more qualified than me for the position?
What can she do regarding the position better than I can do?
If you find the other person was more qualified then you are, you may want to accept that fact to relieve the feelings of jealousy and allow you to improve if you want, for the next opportunity that shows up.
If you answered honestly and found that there is no doubt that the other person is unqualified, you have to look at why she got the job, and you didn’t. Was it favoritism or something similar? If so, then do you want to work somewhere where core values aren’t practiced?
Another way of looking at this situation is, maybe this wasn’t the right time for you to get promoted, or maybe something better is coming for you. This type of thinking will help you to move on.
This happened to me, people less qualified than me, received a promotion, and I didn’t. It’s a hard pill to swallow. I kept an open mind and kept doing my best. After one year and a half, I was offered a promotion with a higher rank and 10% more pay then the promotion I was expecting. Sometimes it’s not the right time, and something much better comes along.
Your girlfriend is talking with other guys.
In this situation, put your feelings aside and let’s look into the issues. Would you say this is a one-time thing? Is your girlfriend just being friendly? Could your girlfriend be trying to make you jealous?
If your girlfriend is always talking to other guys, maybe something is missing in your relationship and she is looking for what’s missing, or it could be she’s overly friendly. Is she friendly with other girls as well?
If she is trying to make you jealous, then what could lead to that? Are you taking her for granted, are you doing something that makes her jealous?
After analyzing the situation, you would need to have a talk with her to see if you are doing something that makes her pay attention to other guys more than you.
Since this will be a sensitive issue, you need to pick the right time and place. After your conversation, you’ll have more information so that you can work on the issue, or you may find it’s better to find someone that’s more suitable for you.
Example of Good Things Happening To others:
Your friend gets a brand new car, and you can barely afford to fix your vehicle.
This is how I would handle this one.
Sure it’s hard to see someone much better off than yourself, especially when you’re struggling to make ends meet. But let’s look at it from a different perspective. Your friend wants to share their great news with you because they consider you a close friend and want you to be part of this experience. I would share that experience and be happy for them.
I keep in mind that everyone gets a break, this is my friend’s break, and I’m going to be happy for them instead of being bitter. My time will come; it’s just not now. And even if it never happens to me, my friend has nothing to do with it, so I choose to enjoy this time with my friend and forget about my situation for the time being.
Well, that’s it for my thoughts on jealousy. I know it’s a bad feeling that brings nothing but more pain if you let it linger.
Have a look at the resources below to avoid getting caught living with feelings of jealousy.