How to Stop Being Negative (At Work and In Life)

Negativity has a few short-term benefits. It also comes with real costs.

When you’re negative, you tend to focus on the worst-case scenario. That can make you cautious. Caution isn’t a bad thing — it can protect you and your business from bad decisions.

You can stay sharp and cautious without staying negative. Due diligence and smart decisions don’t require negativity.

This matters even more if you run a business or manage a team. Your negativity affects the people around you, including your employees, co-workers, and customers.

Below are four areas of your life — and your business — affected by negativity:

1. Hurting Those Around You
Your negativity is probably hurting the people around you. That includes family, friends, co-workers, and employees.

They care about you. But your negativity still makes things harder for them.

They may not say anything, because they don’t want to hurt your feelings. They may start to dread talking to you or spending time with you.

Negativity doesn’t stay contained, either. Research from Harvard Business School shows negative emotions spread through a group fast, like wildfire. That’s especially true when the negative person has influence, such as a manager or team lead.

Employees who constantly point out problems pay a price too. A Michigan State University study found that employees who habitually focus on the negative experience mental fatigue and become less productive themselves.

2. Resistance
When you’re negative, you build up resistance. You become the “no” person.

You say no to going out. You say no to watching a movie. You say no to hanging out.

You miss out on things you’d enjoy. You also miss out on opportunities — for yourself and for your business.

3. Health
Negativity can hurt your health too.

Endorphins are chemicals your brain releases during stress, pain, and pleasurable activity. They ease stress, ease depression symptoms, and support your overall sense of well-being.

When you’re negative, you cut yourself off from many of the moments that trigger endorphins.

Optimism carries a bigger payoff than most people realize. In one large study of more than 150,000 women, the most optimistic women lived about 4.4 years longer than the least optimistic.

4. Depression
Negativity and depression are closely linked.

Depression involves a genuine pessimistic bias, research shows, not just a “realistic” view of the world. People with depression tend to underestimate how often good things will happen, and they give more weight to negative experiences than positive ones.

It’s harder to treat depression than it is to stop being negative. Catching negative patterns early can help you avoid that harder road.

The Good News is You Can Change

You’re reading this article, so you’re already interested in reducing negativity in your life.

Choosing to change is the first step. It’s also the most important one.

Below you’ll find recommendations to help you get started, plus a collection of resources from different authors. Each one offers a different perspective on the topic.

Take your time working through the material. You may want to bookmark this page and come back to it — there’s a lot here.

Commit To The Process

You have to commit to the process. Without commitment, change won’t stick.

Write a short statement saying you’ll follow through. Keep it private — it’s for your eyes only.

A written commitment helps hold you accountable.

Create Your Negative List

One of the first steps is to list the negative things about your life. For example:

I’m always angry
People avoid me
My kids are afraid of me
I feel like I’m struggling in my life
I can’t seem to get ahead in life
I feel like I have no luck
I feel like I have a heart of stone
I think everyone is out to get me
I don’t like anyone
I don’t feel like doing anything
Etc.

This exercise opens your eyes to your own negative behaviors. You’ll likely revise this list as you move through the process.

Identify Triggers

Identify the triggers that bring on negative thoughts and feelings. Once you know your triggers, you can act to override them.

For example, say you turn on the news first thing in the morning and feel the negativity start. That’s a trigger.

Instead of the news, try music or something else you enjoy.

You don’t have to give up the news for good. Just limit it for a few days and notice the difference. After that, you can bring it back in smaller doses.

Make Your Feel Good List

You need tools to help you push back against negativity. One simple tool is a list of thoughts or activities that make you feel good.

Thoughts:

Your kids
Your spouse
Your friends
Your pet
Your car
A prized possession
Inspiring quotes
Lyrics to a song
Something you’re looking forward to
A time in your life when you were on top of the world
Something funny

Activities:

Listening to your favorite playlist
Watching a movie
Taking a walk
Taking a drive
Sitting on a beach
Watching your favorite comedy
Watching funny videos
Hanging out with your best friend
Etc.

Your feel-good list may take a few days to build. Once it’s ready, you’ll have a useful tool.

Every time you feel negative, or you notice a trigger, replace the negative thought with one from your Feel Good List.

Don’t Get Discouraged

Change isn’t easy. You may slip back into negative feelings while working through this process — that’s normal.

Be patient. Changing negative habits takes time.

Key Points and Facts About Negativity

Negativity has short-term benefits, like caution, but larger long-term costs.
Negativity affects the people around you — family, friends, co-workers, and employees.
Negative emotions spread through teams fast, especially from people in leadership roles.
Endorphins ease stress and depression symptoms, and negativity cuts you off from the moments that release them.
Optimistic people in one large study lived years longer than pessimistic people.
Depression involves a real pessimistic bias, not just a “realistic” outlook.

Action Steps for Reducing Negativity

Commit to the process

Write a short, private statement committing to change.

Create your negative list

List the negative things about your life or work.
Revisit and update the list as you go.

Identify your triggers

Notice what sets off negative thoughts.
Limit or replace that trigger for a few days.

Build your feel-good list

List thoughts and activities that lift your mood.
Use the list whenever you notice a trigger.

Be patient

Expect setbacks. Keep going anyway.

Checklist for Reducing Negativity

Commitment statement written
- Done when it’s written down and kept private
Negative list started
- Done when you’ve written at least five items
Triggers identified
- Done when you can name at least one trigger
Feel-good list built
- Done when you have at least five thoughts or activities on it
Negative thoughts swapped
- Done when you’ve used the feel-good list at least once
Staying patient through setbacks
- Done when you keep going after a setback instead of quitting

FAQ: Negativity

Can negativity really affect my health?

Yes. Endorphins ease stress and depression symptoms, and negativity can cut you off from the activities that release them.

Does negativity spread to other people?

Yes. Research shows negative emotions spread through groups quickly, especially from people in leadership roles.

Is negativity the same as depression?

No, but they’re linked. Depression involves a real pessimistic bias, not just accurate pessimism.

How long does it take to stop being negative?

It varies by person. Expect setbacks, and give the process time.

References:

Resources:

A collection of hand-picked articles and resources on ways to stop being a negative person.

Resources

Resources

How To Stop Negative Thoughts From Entering Your Mind

How To Stop Being Negative In A Relationship

How To Stop Being Negative At Work

Quotes

Courses